7 days- 7 impressions

Hey^-^
I thought about a nice project and the result was an every-Sunday-post-conception.
The idea is, that I'll share a photo, text, video or so with you with an insight of everyday's most important thing and impression.
It was a rather uninteresting and boring week, but all in all it was hot and summerlike at least.
So let's start with my Monday impression:

I used to hate it but now I love it *-* Peanutbutter

Tuesday : So far away by Avenged Sevenfold

I <3 this band and the clip is so sad, that the first time I saw it I nearly cried... 

Wednesday: Roses- For my Grandma

I love you!! She planted roses everywhere C:

Thursday - The lion king -Mufasa's appearance

The movie I've watched most frequently (and Pride & Prejudice of course xD)

And I hate this scene as much as I love it. It makes me cry every damn time I see it... particulary this beautiful music *-*

Friday - Earrings

I've got my first ear holes -  Ying-Yang earrings :D

Saturday - Fuzzy-Head (Bad hair day)

I bought some make-up and sport stuff and my hair was curled all along...I don't like my hair it's so fuzzy -.-

Aaaand it's embarassing to go shopping with hair as if a 5-year-old had  played with hair curler .__.

Sunday - Delirium

Really nice dystopian book about love and emotions.

xx Blacky

PS: In the next few days I'll post something called "Joining a conversation" :3

Yesterday's tide

Events are moving so fast and what in one moment seems impossible, the next is happening. I'm sure historians will, in time, provide theories and analysis, but for now I think most of us simply want the tide stemmed.
Lucy Powell 

Yesterday started boring and went on with cooking a casserole and tidying up my room.
Then I rode to a friend and together we were brought to the train station. After 40 minutes sitting & talking we arrived in D. 
My friend wants to have a piercing so we planned to go to the piercing studio first to fix a date. 
Straying around since we didn't know the exact way, we decided to go to a park and relax.
We weren't there before and it looked really nice! But we had forgotten towels and after about one hour sunbathing we had our fill of annoying flies and grass sticking everywhere (the grass made imprints as if our skin was crinkled paper :D)
We kept on walking through beautiful flowerbeds and chose an exit at last.
Dopey as we are we hadn't brought enough water with us, so we were accordingly thirsty. 
But thanks to the underground (' love cities) Aldi was just a few minutes' drive away. 
Each of us bought a 1,5 litre bottle and we've drunken it very, very fast..... :D
And I couldn't resist buying peanut butter. I've been hating it when I was younger, but since I've eaten peanut sauce at a Chinese restaurant I luuuuve it <3 (You must! try it out with chicken :3)
Then we went back home ....

But my real reasons for this post weren't a boring life (day) update.
It have been my thoughts about the tide.
When we were searching for the studio, I realised how much I actually enjoy walking without an aim.
I think, that is a kind of freedom. If I have an important aim (e.g. date with sb.) I always think about being too late and so on, but don't really enjoy the way.
The thing is that I feel more freely when I just have the way without an aim. 
So I've planned to drive to D. again soon (without someone this time, cause the friend whowas with me doesn't like walking) and just listen to music and just drift to the sound and heartbeat of the world. (That doesn't make sense, does it? :D)
Sneaking a kind of peace ....
Yeah, I bubble too much again. Senselessly.Pointlessly.
Sorry for that! But I think it's hard to catch one's thoughts and describe them in human words. Especially if English not your mother tongue and you try to write a blog in English xD...
However as I've explained that's one of my reasons to write this lifestyle blog: learning how to express myself in a clear and confident way as well as to apprehend my messed-up mind at all.

Sorry again, I bring my text to an end now :P
xx Blacky

Self-confidence?

Hey guys,

The last days were quite hard for me.
My grandma is lying in hospital and everyone is waiting for her to die, but she doesn't let go.

Edit: She died right now.
My parents came in and my mom petted my shoulder. I didn't like that gesture. Does she really believe that makes it any better? It felt annoying. I'd have preferred to be told in a calm voice that it eventually happened. I can't deal with it that way. .....

So my afternoon passed by with watching Navy CIS.
But when I was asked to  buy a mobile phone credit card I suddenly run into my room and started weeping.
I just....I don't know. It was too much.
After a few minutes my control was reconverd and I ate  pasta.
I always need to eat or drink something when I'm nervous, stressed or bored.

Whatsoever....I was always a shy child with little self-confidence, but I was happy and my life felt okay.
During the 2nd to 7th grade I looked like a boy (I preferred blue clothes and short hair -> much more handy, but I was never bullied or so) yet I am quite intelligent  and had friends enough so that I never missed anything important.

However during the last years I've been retreating more and more into my shell.
I've still have good friends, especially two of them.
They both have depressive states.
And in the last weeks my mum has been drinking much alcohol. (She started when her dad dies (she was about 15 or 16 years old and her mum used to tell her that she was unwanted).
My granddad (her dad) who I've never knew was an alcoholic too.
Apart from that she didn't used to drink much, maybe 3-4 days a month.
But it became more and more lately.
Wednesday dad bursted into anger and he gave her the choice whether moves out or checks into a drying-out center. She's chosen the secons option.
But I know, it isn't the question if my parents ever get divorced but when.
Probably when my youngest brother is old enough.

Back to my main issure: self-confidence.
Let's imagine a skyscraper. During primary school my confidence was more or less in the 3rd floor maybe a bit higher, where others used to be in one of the highest suites.
In secondary school it slumped more and more and finally hit the basement.
If it's sinking like I feel at the moment, it'll reach hell before christmas.
*Give satan my regards*

And now I'm stopping writing this foolish text and drink a big cup of coffee.....


xx Someone-Currently-Broken

School's out!

Yeah,
today was the last schoolday for nearly six weeks *-*
Well, for me there're just 40 days left in German and then my exchange in England begins. I'll stay in England (Devon) for about six months and I'm really excited :D
In half an hour we're going to eat at an Chinese restaurant, as we always do after getting our year results. (My average is 1.9 <- *happy*)
So I hope it's going to be a nice day and since summer eventually started....in any case it'll be hot and sunnny.

This post is quite unnesessary so I could add some ideas about prospective posts I've planned.
Some probably will have the topic "movies & music", where I advance my opinion and present my favourites.
Besides I'll definitly write philosophical texts.
I often talk about "everything and nothing" with my friends, we're a crazy group O.o
And as I enjoy writing fantasy stories, I may translate some of my short stories into English :3
At last but not least I could imagine typing about daily experiences, e.g. embarrassing, stressful & happy moments.

xx Blacky

Why am I writing this blog?

Hey guys!
Well, that's a good question and I think it deserves an answer.
First, I want to point out, that my mothertongue is German, so please forgive me for my mistakes in grammar (espcially prepositions).
But back to my reasons:
I like writing. And every time I wrote a diary, I'd soon be to lazy and get a hand cramp.
But there's still that awful lot of random thoughts in my mind.
So this blog will be about my live, thoughts, weirdness and other random stuff.
You could call it a sort of alternative diary or just a collection of ....yeah...simply stuff.
I hope I can improve my English that way, and lose something of my uneasiness ( /mental tense), while sharing thoughts with the whole world.
That's the reason for my blog's name, too. In Greek the word "psyche" means "butterfly" as well as "soul".

If my soul would have a body, it would be a butterfly

Hopefully you enjoy reading my blog and feel free to write comments C:

xx Blacky